As someone who’s lived and breathed poker for two decades, I’ve seen how the game — and life — are truly driven by mindset.

Yet many false beliefs can keep players from realizing their true potential at the table, and this can naturally extend to everyday life.

Let’s clear up a few of the big ones so that together, we can stop lying to our subconscious mind:

1. Poker is All Luck

I hear this all the time, but trust me — luck may play a part in the short term, but your mindset shapes what happens over the long haul.

Staying focused, calm, and disciplined can turn the tables in your favor, no matter what crappy cards you’re dealt.

A strong mindset allows you to control the only thing you can in poker and life: yourself.

2. Winning Means Being Aggressive

It’s not about charging ahead blindly, though I’ve witnessed my fair share. A powerful poker mindset is about balance. Knowing when to press and when to pull back is key.

It’s not just about being aggressive; it’s about being smart, reading the table, and allowing the game to come to you. That’s not about wooing the game to come to you, but when you try too hard, it’s like grabbing a fist full of Jello and squeezing.

Kenny Rogers said it best, “Know when to hold’em, know when to fold’em and know when to walk away.”

3. Emotions Don’t Belong at the Poker Table

Let me tell you, they’re always there whether you admit it or not. The skill is managing them. Staying in control and not letting frustration get the best of you (and ‘tilting’) separates the good players from the rest.

I call that having Emotional Agility™. It’s about learning to bend with the game, not break under pressure.

Without getting carried away with metaphors, it’s about going with the flow rather than drowning.

4. Mindset is Less Important than Skill

You know I’m calling a bullsh*t on that! Of course, poker is a game of strategy, but it’s also a game of mental strength.

I call that Mental Agility™. Even the most skilled players can unravel if they lose control of their thoughts and the actions that follow.

An agile mindset helps you stay in the game, centered and focused when those crappy cards come or you feel like you’re being bullied.

Dump the I’m-being-bullied mindset, and stop playing the victim mindset card. All it does is leak your poker bankroll and make you feel like you just played like a sissy.

5. You’re Either Born with a Strong Mindset, or You’re Not

That’s just not true. A winning mindset isn’t something you’re born with — it’s something you build, or rather, something you learn to shift on-demand when needed.

You can train your mind like an athlete with practice, tools, and the right approach. Persistent. Repetition. Will.

MindShifting™ takes continual practice and can be learned. You just have to want to do it, have a plan, and take the wheel rather than remain an unwitting passenger.

(Forgive me for getting carried away with metaphors, but I’m having fun here!)

6. It’s All About Staying Positive

Sure, being optimistic helps, but a winning mindset — at the poker table and in life — is about way more than just ‘thinking good thoughts.’ That ‘just think positive’ stuff? It’s crap.

Real mindset work is about resilience, bouncing back when things don’t go your way, and knowing when and how to pivot.

It’s less about always feeling good and more about being ready for whatever comes your way.

My husband calls me the "pony girl." He says I walk into a room full of manure, look around, and ask, ‘Where’s the pony?’

That’s what it’s really about — finding the lessons within the loss, even in the crappiest situations, rather than bemoaning your fate.

7. Keep Playing, No Breaks

Wrong! Poker is a mental marathon, not a sprint. Sounds a lot like life, doesn’t it?

Knowing when to step away, take a breather, and reset your mind is just as important — actually, more important — than staying in the game.

One of my biggest flaws used to be "just one more hand." Almost every time, it cost me — my health, my game, my mindset, and my bankroll.

Another game killer that goes hand-in-hand with this is refusing to let go of the cards you’re holding. I’ll go deeper into that in another post.

For now, here’s a massive problem in poker and life: refusing to fold when you KNOW you’re holding a losing hand.

How sick is that!?

Sometimes, stepping away is the boldest play you can make. It gives you the clarity, confidence, and mental acuity to come back and own the table — and life — on your terms.

By understanding these false beliefs, you can shift your mindset and set yourself up to win more often — not just at the poker table but in life, too.

Remember, the real game is in your head!

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I keep hearing, “It’s about time!!” And, I’m proud I finally listened and took action.

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